In the second look at the Ashes Stockmarket for the summer, pretty much the entire England team could be added to the All Ordinaries Index.
Apart from a couple of quicks, they were all extremely ordinary in Perth as they squandered what could have been a momentum-building win into an embarrassing eight-wicket defeat.
The Aussies are in the black after the opening five days of trade were cut short by three due to a bull market in which both teams made plenty of high-risk investments which yielded fluctuating results.
Queensland, once home to Christopher Skase’s shaky media empire, can provide rapid growth for speculators so Thursday’s Gabba Test opens up a world of possibilities for the English prospectors to recoup their losses from Alan Bond territory in the West.
But their batters need to get Footsies moving at the crease to get to 100 or they could be headed for another costly crash.
Looking at the updates from the pre-series forecast, there has been plenty of movement on the trading floor.
Of the buys, Brendan Doggett’s stocks are rising after a solid five wickets on debut across both innings so his status remains unchanged.
Jofra Archer’s value is still high after his first-innings exploits but his ineffective second outing casts doubt over his long-term projections.
Cameron Green has been relegated to a hold after chipping in at Perth without making a substantial contribution with bat or ball.
From the stocks marked as holds, shares in Travis Head are now selling at a record rate after his strong opening trading so get on the bandwagon before it’s too late.
Joe Root has been relegated to sell status, seasonally adjusted due to his diminishing returns in one particular foreign market.
Of the sells, Ollie Pope remains in the bargain basement bin, Usman Khawaja’s stocks are virtually worthless now with his career potentially about to be written off while Ben Stokes’ five-wicket tear through the Aussie tail was not enough to justify his hefty price when accompanied by a paltry dividend of a combined eight runs with the bat.
Cameron Green. (Photo by Chris Hyde/Getty Images for Cricket Australia)
Now onto the second Test forecasts.
Buy
Mitchell Starc: He’s recorded career-best figures in his past two Tests to prove that he is still a blue-chip stock even though the 35-year-old could seem outdated when compared to younger versions. He’s about to pass Wasim Akram as the most prolific left-armer in Test cricket history and as the pink-ball master, this Gabba sojourn could deliver more stellar results.
Bazball hyperbole: Just when you thought a huge, steaming slice of humble pie was about to be served up after their day-two capitulation in Perth, Brendon McCullum and his cult followers have tripled down on their tactics.
The rhetoric is off the charts, if only the results were trending upwards as well.
Brydon Carse: Possibly the only “Englishman” who came away from Optus Stadium with their reputation enhanced. With Mark Wood out and Gus Atkinson failing to make a breakthrough in the series opener, Carse should be given the new ball alongside Archer. He squared up Steve Smith with a beauty on day one and followed that up with a rip-snorter to get rid of Khawaja.
The 30-year-old seamer took the only two scalps in the second dig to ensure all the wickets in the Test were taken by people born in Australia (20), South Africa (five), New Zealand (five) and Barbados (three) with England contributing zero.
Hold
Jake Weatherald: It’s too early to say whether he will make the grade at the highest level. The transferred Tasmanian was knocked off his feet in his and sent back to the pavilion first up without scoring and then started to find those feet in the second innings with 23 before trying one attacking shot too many while Travis Head was blazing away at the other end.
Harry Brook. (Photo by Alex Davidson/Getty Images)
Harry Brook: It was a promising start to his first Test in Australia with an attacking 52 in Perth, but Brook followed that up with a second-ball duck in the second innings.
His spot at No.5 is crucial for England in the Bazball era – he can either continue a hot start and knock an opponent to the canvas but if he goes cheaply after the top-order has done likewise, their house of cards can collapse in alarmingly quick fashion.
Brisbane’s weather: The nightly rainfall around this time of year can be a crapshoot in BrisVegas. The stretch from December to February brings significantly greater downpours but the good news is that there is little to no wet weather forecast for the five days of the Test … for now.
Sell
Zak Crawley: A pair in Perth, a below-average average of 30.96 from 60 Tests and seemingly no self awareness to rein in his attacking approach, the horizon looks dim for the lanky opener.
He thought he dodged a bullet when Pat Cummins was ruled out but Mitchell Starc has taken his spot as Crawley’s nemesis.
Nathan Lyon: His short-term outlook is bleak. Even if he makes the cut for the Brisbane Test, he may not get much of a bowl. Although his numbers suggest he is still a valuable commodity when called upon, he has increasingly been kept out of the attack over the past couple of years and his hopes of making the 2027 Ashes tour are not as rock solid as they once were.
Particularly once Khawaja is excised from the Australian team, the spotlight will naturally increase on Lyon as the senior citizen of the side if he can’t maintain his usually profitable output.
Mark Wood: Sad to say it but his career may be over. He just can’t stay on the park and 35 is not a kind age to express pace bowlers who are unable to shake off a string of injuries.
Tickets to day 4: First time around, the advice was not to bother with tickets to the final day. The revised forecast is to wait before worrying about day four in Brisbane. Surely those day three stubs won’t be shredded this time around after they proved worthless in the west.
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