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Aussies tickled pink: History forecasts another English annihilation in Ashes return bout at Gabbatoir

Beating Australia in Perth was never going to be easy. After being dealt a crushing eight-wicket loss at Perth, England stare down the barrel of another intimidating task: overcoming the Aussies in Brisbane.

Australia have only lost at the Gabba twice since 1988, both defeats required something extraordinary from their opposition.

Firstly, the see-sawing fourth test of the 2020-21 Border-Gavaskar series, where destructive wicketkeeper Rishabh Pant pulled his side over the finish line with an unbeaten 89*.

The other, anchored by a freakish 7-68 from the relatively unknown Shamar Joseph in his maiden test series, the West Indies snuck home by eight runs, handing Australia their one and only loss in a day/night Test.

This century, England has only escaped defeat once at the Gabba, a draw where Alastair Cook was at his imperious best and unable to be bested as he compiled an unbeaten 235* on a sedate pitch.

The other results go as follows: nine wickets, 10 wickets, 381 runs, 277 runs, 384 runs – all dominant victories for Australia.

On top of this, Australia possess the historically greatest pink ball bowler. Across his 27 day-night innings, Mitchell Starc has taken 81 wickets at an average of 17.08. The next most prolific wicket takers in this format are the other three members of Australia’s famous quartet.

And below them on that list are the erstwhile opening quicks Stuart Broad and James Anderson, who took 23 and 24 wickets respectively in pink ball Tests.

To the surprise of many, England turned down an opportunity to play a practice pink-ball clash at Canberra in the PM’s XI match.

Former Australian national representatives, Peter Siddle and Queensland local Stuart Law, both talked down the idea, citing the divergent conditions between the venues as a justification for England skipping out on the annual tradition.

But the English could well do with the tune-up against the unpredictable pink ball, given their comparative lack of experience against it.

The English have only played seven pink ball Tests in their history and have lost five of those contests.

Joe Root captain of England Jos Buttler of England react after dropping Marnus Labuschagne of Australia on 95 and during day one of the Second Test match in the Ashes series between Australia and England at Adelaide Oval on December 16, 2021 in Adelaide, Australia. (Photo by Mark Brake - CA/Cricket Australia via Getty Images)

Joe Root during the 2021 Adelaide day-nighter. (Photo by Mark Brake – CA/Cricket Australia via Getty Images)

They have played just two in the past five years, most recently in February 2023. Mark Wood has played one pink-ball test, and Jofra Archer has bowled just five overs with the pink ball in test cricket. On top of that, Brydon Carse, Gus Atkinson, Matthew Potts, Shoaib Bashir, Jamie Smith and Will Jacks have never played a pink-ball Test.

Compare this to Australia, which has played six in that same time and 14 overall – more than any other team. On top of the pink ball specialist Starc, their XI also features the most prolific run scorer in day/night Test cricket, the back-in-form Marnus Labuschagne, who has made 958 runs in the format at 63.86 over his 15 innings.

In fact, the entire top five leading run scorers in day/night cricket are Australian, which further underlines the advantage they have in experience in this particular contest.

If England pull this off, it will be their first victory at the Gabba since 1986, when swashbuckling all-rounder Ian Botham pummelled a 138, shellshocking Australia’s young pace attack.

Comparatively dynamic all-rounder and captain Ben Stokes has memorably delivered with his back against the wall before, but he’ll have to overcome Starc, who has already dismissed him twice. Stokes averages just 17.36 runs against Starc has dismissed him 11 times in the longest form.

A moment like this calls for the expertise of living legend Joe Root, England’s most experienced pink ball player. Root averages 38 in day/night tests, which is five more runs than he averages in Australia.

The pressure on Root to tick off a hundred in Australia is immense, but the stars come out at night, and Root is as good as England has had.

Or could Harry Brook, England’s answer to Travis Head at number five, make a name for himself down under?

One thing’s for sure, Australia will come in as favourites. Let’s hope it goes to at least day three.


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