Here’s an odd little article to entertain you while you argue about Australia’s batting line-up for the second Test, an Australian cricket XI, in batting order, where every player has a cricketing connection with the most powerful number of them all – the number one.
1. Charles Bannerman – Who better to come in at number one in this team than Australia’s Test player No.1, the little Pommie battler turned Aussie who not only faced the very first ball in test cricket in 1877, but was also the first man to score a Test run, the first man to score a Test century, and therefore, the first man to score a Test century on debut. His score of 165 remains the highest Test score by an Australian on debut to this day, and he wasn’t dismissed, but retired hurt with a broken finger, something a true-blue Australian would never do.
2. Shane Watson (c) – “Watto” qualifies to captain this side on the strength of his one and only game as Australian skipper in the fourth Test against India 2013 when he stood in for the injured Michael Clarke. Imagine the fun he’d have if given the authority for the third umpire reviews.
3. Tom Horan – He is an absolute must for this line-up as not only was he the first Irish-born player to represent Australia, but he was also the first player to bat at first drop in the first Test. Interestingly, particularly for those who need to get out more, the wickets falling immediately before and after Horan’s in this match went for only one run apiece. But wait, there’s more. Horan scored one century in his 15-match Test career and one 50 … but there’s still more.
Apart from his batting “Felix” Horan was a fairly useful medium pace bowler, and when called on to have a bowl in England’s second innings in the second test in Sydney in 1883, he became the first player to take a wicket with his first ball in Test cricket. What a legend!
4. Sir Donald Bradman – Slipping “The Don” into any half-arsed fantasy team is always a good way to give the article a faint air of credibility, but in this instance Sir Donald actually deserves his place, being the first and only Australian to be knighted for his services to cricket. I wonder how close the likes of David Warner, Merv Hughes and Ian Healy are to joining him?
5. Stuart Law – The first Queenslander to lead his state to Sheffield Shield victory, Law must be the number one unluckiest Australian cricketer of all time, playing just one innings in his one Test for Australia despite scoring over 27,000 runs at 50.52 in 367 first class games, including an incredible 79 centuries and 128 half-centuries.
6. Dr Roy Park – If you went to watch Roy Park play what turned out to be his one and only test on New Year’s Eve in 1920 it was a matter of blink and you missed it, as he was bowled for a first-ball duck. The story goes that his wife, who was in the crowd, bent down to pick up something as he faced up to his first ball and accordingly missed his entire Test batting career. Oh, and he bowled just the one over when it was England’s turn to bat.
Mitchell Starc of Australia. (Photo by Quinn Rooney/Getty Images)
7. Phil Emery W/K – A very good wicketkeeper was the “slink”, and he’ll be ecstatic to find himself included in this odd 11 on the strength of playing just one Test, batting in one innings, having one not out, hitting one boundary, and effecting one stumping. Brilliant!
8. Keith Slater AM – He takes the all-rounder role in this elite squad as who can ever forget the one innings he had in his only match for Australia in 1959, knocking up a score of one not out. Unfortunately it wasn’t enough to impress the selectors to pick him again and there were also some serious doubts about his bowling action.
9. Mitchell Starc – Nobody leads a bowling attack like big Mitch and he’s at his most dangerous when bowling his first over of an innings, having now taken a wicket in what is basically his warm-up over 25 times, including twice in the recent Ashes Test, although to be fair, it was only the hapless Zak Crawley he was bowling to. Best not to be at the striker’s end when Starcy comes on to bowl.
10. Max Walker – Much to Ben Hilfenhaus’ disappointment, his name doesn’t come up as the correct answer to the sports trivia question “Which Tasmania-born player is the first-ranked wicket taker for Australia”, as that honour belongs to that famous Victorian, Max “Tangles” Walker, who was born in Hobart and went on to take 138 wickets. Walker moved to Melbourne at the age of 19 and represented Victoria from 1968 to 1982.
11. Bryce McGain – As one of only three Australian players with one Test and a batting average of one to their name, McGain beats both Peter George and the wonderfully named Digger Robertson to win a place in the side.
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